What does Pinocchio's lover say to him? "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

Why do Jewish men get circumcised? Because Jewish women won’t touch anything unless it’s 20% off.

What is a revolution in the world of love-making? Going from missionary to doggy in the same session

What’s a Mormon’s favorite coitus position? You’d probably think it’s missionary, but I’m pretty sure they’d try the back door if they had the chance.

Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...

Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself.. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're fucked.

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?? One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

Why won't most women blink during foreplay? They don't have time.

A woman just asked me if I like thighs or breasts. Told her I like a nicely curved dick . Apparently, this isn't an appropriate answer at KFC.

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!" The woman says, "Me too, you've be...

Condoms? Hah! Those are for pussies!

Why do women prefer old gynecologists? Their shaky hands!

Instead of "Who's your mommy" I accidentally said, "How's your mommy" and we put our clothes back on and started discussing his mom's breast cancer.

What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? Gum!

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.