What's the smallest hotel known to man? A pussy. Because you leave your bags outside!

What's the difference between parsley and pussy? Nobody eats parsley.

What's the difference between balls and a pussy? the harder the pussy, the more balls you need.

What did the penis say to the vagina? Don't make me cum in there.

Look at my cock pulsating as my cock spits out my hot seed from

I would tell you a penis joke… But I don’t want to come across as cocky.

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

I’d make a masturbation joke. But they always get out of hand.

What’s a good way to masturbate??? Get somebody to do it for you

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cubes have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

If you were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that your addiction got out of hand?

My boyfriend went to bed naked. I think he has a boner to pick with me.

What's the difference between a hair stylist and a nail stylist? One does hand jobs and one does blow jobs!

The bacteria found in yogurt is the same one found in a vagina.

A "busy beaver" sounds like a derogatory term for a sexually promiscuous woman