Looks delicious just like a grapefruit! How is a pussy like a grapefruit though? The best ones squirt when you eat them

Ahh memories! This just came to mind right now. Way back when I was inexperienced performing oral sex for the first time. I asked, "Am I doing it right?" To which he replied, "Not if you're talking."

So I am going to just cum out and say it, my boyfriend caught me masturbating with a carrot. His first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!”

Damn, look at that! Ahh why is it that IT guys here can't keep girlfriends though? They turn them all off and on again.

Are you a Nice girl or Good girl?: NICE girls blush when they watch porn, GOOD girls smile cause they know they can do better.

Guys! Give your ladies an Australian kiss. It's the same as a French kiss, but down under.

What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because they won't stop to ask directions.

A sex therapist arrives at his premature ejaculation clinic and finds a single patient waiting for him. What does the therapist say? "You're early"

I opened a club for premature ejaculators. It didn't last long.

What does a premature ejaculator and a blind man have in common? They never see it coming

They had to change the meeting time for the premature ejaculators' support group. Everyone kept coming too early.

I told a joke about premature ejaculation, but nobody laughed. ...What, too soon?

I just read an article about premature ejaculation during masturbation. It might come in handy.

I was asked to speak at a club for helping people with premature ejaculation. I asked what I should wear to the speech: They told me I could just come in my pants