A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

I’d make a masturbation joke. But they always get out of hand.

What’s a good way to masturbate??? Get somebody to do it for you

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cubes have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

If you were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that your addiction got out of hand?

My boyfriend went to bed naked. I think he has a boner to pick with me.

Who does anal? Assholes.

What's the difference between a hair stylist and a nail stylist? One does hand jobs and one does blow jobs!

The bacteria found in yogurt is the same one found in a vagina.

A "busy beaver" sounds like a derogatory term for a sexually promiscuous woman

Look at my cock pulsating as my cock spits out my hot seed from

I’d make a masturbation joke. But they always get out of hand.

What’s a good way to masturbate??? Get somebody to do it for you

If you were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that your addiction got out of hand?

What's the difference between a hair stylist and a nail stylist? One does hand jobs and one does blow jobs!