He read a book on how to improve my foreplay. It wasn't too bad once he skipped past the boring part at the beginning.

What if the Pilgrims had killed bobcats instead of turkeys? We'd be eating pussy every Thanksgiving.

What's the smallest hotel known to man? A pussy. Because you leave your bags outside!

What's the difference between parsley and pussy? Nobody eats parsley.

What's the difference between balls and a pussy? the harder the pussy, the more balls you need.

What did the penis say to the vagina? Don't make me cum in there.

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Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?

Why don't stoners get into arguments? Because they take the high road.

What did the stoner at the party say before the cops came? Let's blow this joint.

Whats long and hard and has cum in it? A cucumber

Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school? Because they're all in HIGH school

If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.

What do you call a family that grows Marijuana in their backyard? A Joint Family.

Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"