His wife gave him a handjob the other day using Vaseline. He came three times trying to wash that shit off.

Two nuns are painting an office at the rectory on a hot summer day. One says to the other, we should take off our habits so as to not get paint on them. So both nuns are painting the room in the nu...

The sex position formerly known as 69 is now called 96. Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.

A PENIS is the lightest thing in the world. Even a thought can raise it.

The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.

What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A genealogist looks up your family tree. A gynecologist looks up your family bush.

What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dick is hanging out

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you inside me!

What did the bra say to the hat? You go on a head while I give these two a lift!

Why is being in the military like a blow-job? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me!

Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.

If I had a donkey and you had a chicken and if my donkey ate your chicken what will we have? Three feet of your cock up my ass.

What's the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber.