Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time, I could have dinner with my parents.

A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don...

How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist.

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."

My mom told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying, 'Can I have a new bike?' He was very u...

The stork is the bird that brings the baby, but a swallow's the one to prevent it.

His girlfriend thought he'd be a pushover in bed, and wouldn't you know it, she had him pegged from the start.

His wife gave him a handjob the other day using Vaseline. He came three times trying to wash that shit off.

Two nuns are painting an office at the rectory on a hot summer day. One says to the other, we should take off our habits so as to not get paint on them. So both nuns are painting the room in the nu...

The sex position formerly known as 69 is now called 96. Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.

A PENIS is the lightest thing in the world. Even a thought can raise it.