What did the bra say to the hat? You go on a head while I give these two a lift!

Why is being in the military like a blow-job? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me!

Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.

If I had a donkey and you had a chicken and if my donkey ate your chicken what will we have? Three feet of your cock up my ass.

What's the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber.

If a dove is the "bird of peace" then what's the bird of "true love"? The swallow.

Who was the worlds first carpenter? Eve, because she made Adams banana stand

Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?

Why don't stoners get into arguments? Because they take the high road.

What did the stoner at the party say before the cops came? Let's blow this joint.

Whats long and hard and has cum in it? A cucumber

Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school? Because they're all in HIGH school

If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.