If I had a donkey and you had a chicken and if my donkey ate your chicken what will we have? Three feet of your cock up my ass.

Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.

The sex position formerly known as 69 is now called 96. Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.

What's the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber.

What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me!

Why is being in the military like a blow-job? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

What did the bra say to the hat? You go on a head while I give these two a lift!

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you inside me!

What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dick is hanging out

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

A PENIS is the lightest thing in the world. Even a thought can raise it.

His wife gave him a handjob the other day using Vaseline. He came three times trying to wash that shit off.