My mom told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying, 'Can I have a new bike?' He was very u...

Who does anal? Assholes.

The similarity between foreshadowing and foreplay is that either way you know something is coming.

His girlfriend won't let him spank her butt during foreplay, so he glued her butt cheeks together...Well, if you can't beat them, join them.

Why do women prefer old gynecologists? Their shaky hands!

My boyfriend went to bed naked. I think he has a boner to pick with me.

Why is being in the military like a blow-job? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dick is hanging out

His wife gave him a handjob the other day using Vaseline. He came three times trying to wash that shit off.

What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A genealogist looks up your family tree. A gynecologist looks up your family bush.

His girlfriend thought he'd be a pushover in bed, and wouldn't you know it, she had him pegged from the start.

A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don...

What's the smallest hotel known to man? A pussy. Because you leave your bags outside!

I just read an article about premature ejaculation during masturbation. It might come in handy.

If I had a donkey and you had a chicken and if my donkey ate your chicken what will we have? Three feet of your cock up my ass.