How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist.

What's the smallest hotel known to man? A pussy. Because you leave your bags outside!

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If a dove is the "bird of peace" then what's the bird of "true love"? The swallow.

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you inside me!

A PENIS is the lightest thing in the world. Even a thought can raise it.

What if the Pilgrims had killed bobcats instead of turkeys? We'd be eating pussy every Thanksgiving.

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Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

The sex position formerly known as 69 is now called 96. Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.

The stork is the bird that brings the baby, but a swallow's the one to prevent it.